Dolphins

    (Patrick Marker tried his hand at watercolor)

    Lately when I pass by the field near around Ol' Petey's house, I've been noticing this skinny farmer dude staring at me. He never says anything, sometimes he'll move a little bit, but mostly he just stares at me. Sometimes birds try to land on him but then they burst into flame. Sometimes they actually explode. Once one that was flying over him turned inside out. I'm not sure what his deal is and I don't really care because if I've learned anything about minding my own business, it's that I never have to talk to weirdo's. Also, as long as I'm on the subject of weirdo's, what's the deal with regular people? If I didn;t think they were so weird, I might ask them about that. But then it would break my rule about minding my own business around weirdo's, regular people and skinny farmers. And children. Also dolphins. Thankfully I've never met a dolphin. That's really saved me from some potentially very awkward situations. Seriously, if I ever met a weirdo farming child dolphin I would probably get in a pretty serious fist fight to the death. One of us would die, and I wouldn't plan on it being me. Sometimes my plans don't really work out though. I would hope that if one of us ended up being a puddle of mixed up blood, entrails, inards, broken bones and probably vomit, that it would be the dolphin.

    I guess if dolphins ever decided to leave the water it would be much more difficult for me to be such a nice person.

    I can only hope that the little skinny farmer man isn't trying to organize a mass dolphin revolution. I'd probably have to go kamikaze.